This post was originally published in 2015 · Jacob M Hansen

Some of the things we need in life, must come in specific quantities to benefit us: too little or too much, and we pay a price.  Think water for example: without it, we die. But with too much, we can drown. In a similar way, salt is a necessity for most good-tasting foods.  Yet if you spill too much into your casserole, your dinner guests might not be eager for a second visit. The name of the game here is balance and correct application.

So it is with emotion.  Or as you might say, a wild mustang.  Back in the days of the Wild West, a horse was one of a man’s most important assets: horsepower provided him with everything from tilled crops, to herded cattle, to daily transportation.  But before a man could use his horse, he first had to “break it in” or tame it. Although this is difficult process involving much patience, time, and diligence, an untamed horse will never submit to doing any real work for you.

Why are we talking about horses?  Because horses act a lot like our emotions.  The simplest definition of emotion that I have seen is “e-motion” or “energy in motion.”  Not to be confused with any type of thought, reasoning, or intrinsic value, emotions are merely power; power that drives us to take action. 

Like a horse to a cowboy, emotions are crucial to any progress in life.  We all know how successful we are when we have no desire to do what we need to: not at all!  When we procrastinate our studies, it is because we either don’t want to study, or because we want to do something else more.  And when we finally search up a motivating YouTube clip, we get to work because we have been emotionally connected back to the reason we decided to study in the first place.  People ultimately do what they want to do; trying to live without emotion is like shooting your horse so that you can plow your field by hand. 

But as crucial as emotions are, this is where the need for balance and correct application come in.  Because they are power, emotions can work against us if not properly managed. Too much emotion or the wrong emotion for a given circumstance can degrade and damage our lives by motivating us to do illogical things.  Anger could ruin a relationship; fear could squander a golden opportunity; excitement could cause you to lose focus and fail at a task; pride could impair your ability to see truth.

From worrying about a social event to hitting the snooze button a few too many times, we spend a good portion of our lives fighting against our own feelings.  And as long as our “horses” are sleeping on their feet, snapping at the reins, or galloping wild, we will never reach our full potential. What is the solution?  Tame your horse.

If we learn to master our emotions and fully use them to our advantage – applying the correct one at the correct time and in the correct amount – will have the focus, drive, and happiness to be and accomplish just about anything life has to offer.

As corporate educator and author Blair Singer put it, “Become the master of your own emotions and you will enjoy the freedom, control and power of knowing that you are in the driver’s seat of your life and that no one can ever take that away from you.”

Self-mastery is a task for a lifetime, and I don’t pretend to have a magic solution, or to be any more advanced in this area than anyone else.  But I do know that the very first step to mastering our emotions is a very obvious one that we can all work on. Begin by realizing that you are not your emotions.  They are your tool, not your existence.  It is easy to be influenced by emotions, but you need to recognize that you are never forced to act upon them.  Sticking with the horse analogy, you are the rider, not the horse itself.  

While life sometimes consists of riding a runaway horse, with our emotions carrying us in the opposite direction of our values, there are always small things we can do to calm, re-bridle, and gallop to where we want to be.  Or at the very least, we can hold on for dear life, knowing that things always calm down eventually.

So just like you consistently work to keep your body filled with a safe amount of water, focus on keeping an appropriate balance in your emotional state.  Deliberately using your emotions as a great tool will give you much more progress than you can achieve by fighting or submitting to them.