This post was originally published in 2015 · Jacob M Hansen

The road of life is split by a million forks, each representing a choice.  With every choice we travelers make in life, whether as great as what we decide to believe in, or as small as what we post on Facebook, we always take one road and leave the others behind.  And with every fork we take, who we are and the direction we are headed changes, however slightly.  

Because of this, we all try (or at least should try) to avoid mistakes and make the right choices–the ones that will get us where we want to be in life.  But sometimes, in the pursuit of our goals, we run into dead ends. Places in life where it seems like all of our options are bad ones. Where it seems like we just have to grit our teeth and wait for better fortune.

And in other situations, we have the opposite problem.  We find ourselves having to choose between two different favorable-looking roads: although you’ve been accepted to both Harvard and Yale, you can only attend one college.  In fact, every fork in our life’s journey presents us with a combination of good, bad and mediocre options. So sometimes the choice is obvious, and other times indecision is a serious problem.  

There is however, a helpful method of looking at these choices we are required to make.  In the words of Yogi Berra,

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” 

But how can you take two roads at the same time?  There are two roads and only one of you! While I’m sure there are a bunch of ways to interpret this quote, I see it as a call to change our perceptions.  Instead of thinking of a literal fork in the road, think of a literal fork in the road.  You know, like the utensil.  

Seeing the fork in this way has two major meanings for our lives.  One, that sometimes necessary choices are only imagined. Two, that there is always a third option.

Perceived Limitation

Lets face it: at some point we’ve all told ourselves that we couldn’t do something because it was too difficult or uncomfortable.  And because we couldn’t do that something, we had to choose to do something else. For example, someone might decide that they don’t have what it takes to be an Olympic skier, so they may think they have to decide between pursuing it as a hobby and becoming an instructor.  While they see before them a fork in their skiing experience–with their options being mediocre at best–it is really only a perceived limitation. They don’t actually have to quit their dream of being an Olympian, and in their case, the fork doesn’t really have to exist.  

Sometimes, by seeing the fork as a split in the road, you’re essentially pushing yourself off of the right path.  But if you see it as simply a fork sitting in the middle of your path, you can pick it up and continue your journey.  Captain Jack Sparrow put it this way:

“The problem is not the problem.  The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?”

The Third Option

The other benefit of seeing a literal fork in your path, is that even when you’re faced with a legitimate decision, it forces you to realize that there are always more choices than you at first notice.  While you could go left, and you could go right, you could also go straight ahead.  Regardless of the magnitude of the choice, or the options faced, there is always a third option. 

For example, while you could go to Harvard, or you could go to Yale, you could also choose to go to your local community college and save some money.  Or you could choose a college somewhere between the two. Or hey, you could forgo college all together and live in your parents basement. Maybe you could even transfer back and forth between Harvard and Yale every year.  These may not be the best options for you, but you have to realize that Harvard and Yale aren’t your only options. 

Another example is that of wearing the wrong type of pants to a fancy barbecue.  Sure you could go home and change from your gym shorts into slacks, or you could just stay and practice your self confidence.  But you could also team up with another shorts-wearing person and try to make everyone else think that they were the ones who dressed wrong.  Or you could change into jeans. Or you could put on your spare kilt.  You could even sneak up on people and cut their slacks off at the knee.  

See what I mean?  There are a lot more options than we initially think of.  Sure, not all of them are good ones, but when you open your mind to new possibilities, you have a better chance of making the best choice.  This is because we have habits of thought, and as we repeatedly respond the same way in similar circumstances, we erode certain structured, but limited paths of thinking.  

It is much like hearing the term “fork in the road”.  By hearing it used to represent two diverging roads so often, many of us don’t find it natural to think of a utensil placed perfectly to stab someone’s bike tire.  

But in order to see the fork in all of our daily choices, we have to pause and “think outside the box.”  It takes practice, but by doing so we exponentially increase our options. And the more options you have, the better chance we have of getting where you want be in life.

An great example of seeing the fork is exercising the Win/Win principle in disagreements.  If you’re familiar with the term, you know that it means finding a solution that mutually benefits both parties.  And if you’ve ever tried to apply the principle, you know that the solution often leads to a better result for both parties.  But you also know that it requires some hard thinking.

Changing your perspective can both eliminate roadblocks, and reveal opportunities.  Despite this, not many people actively seek to do so. They settle for what they naturally see in front of them, or worse, what other people see.  Few people travel the more difficult, but absolutely rewarding road of opening their perspectives, and seeing the world in a different light. But as poet Robert Frost wrote,

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by, 

And that has has made all the difference.”

So next time you’re about to make a choice between limited options, stop, think, and take the fork in the road.